It’s okay not to be okay

I look around, I’m surrounded by people but on the inside I feel alone and lonely. I feel like I’m the only on feeling overwhelmed, I’m the only one feeling lost without a sense of direction, I’m the only one going through what I’m going through. Who am I ?  Where am I going ?  These are the questions racing through my head. I’m doubting myself and my journey through life. Am I making the right decisions ? Could I be doing better with my life ?

Even though I can’t shake this feeling, it also feels so wrong to feel this way. Everyone seems to have it together, so I need to look like I have it together.  I can’t talk about the way I’m feeling so I’m going to bury my head in the sand and act like my feelings are not real.

People always see me as this strong person who can take on anything, I handle everything so well. Life can throw anything at me and I’ll handle it with grace. The reason I handle things so well is because I have no choice. If I don’t deal with things, they will be forever lingering.  So I don’t deal with problems so well because I’m strong but because I have no choice but to deal with them. The truth is I’m quite fragile, I’m getting on with it on the outside but inside I’m dying. 

Sometimes I wish I could press a pause button on life and not feel anything or not have anything to do. Most of the time I feel overwhelmed, I feel lonely because I feel like no one understands what I’m going through. I wish I knew how to rip off the “I’ve got it “ mask and just show my true feelings but I feel like no one will understand,  so what’s the point ? 

The point is, it’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You are human. No one is perfect ! So many people are going through the same struggles as you’re going through. So, why don’t you just open up ? You’ll be surprised  by how many people you help by sharing your experiences and emotions and the amount of support you’ll get. 

Open up and let go babygirl.

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